


Finally, he comes home

by lailah



Category: Hawaii Five-0 (2010)
Genre: F/M, Missing in Action
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-09-04
Updated: 2017-11-30
Packaged: 2018-12-23 17:12:08
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 8,352
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11994282
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lailah/pseuds/lailah
Summary: Everything was perfect and then it wasn't





	1. Chapter One

**Author's Note:**

> NAME: He finally comes homes  
> FANDOM: Hawaii Five-0  
> SHIP: Steve McGarrett x Kono Kalakaua  
> GENRE: Angst/Romance/ More Angst  
> SUMMARY: Everything was perfect and then it all fell apart.
> 
> A/N: Everything, apart from a couple of paragraphs will be on Kono’s POV. I will note when things change.

**CHAPTER ONE**

 

When the call came none of them had been expecting it, especially Kono, she had so solidly believed that nothing would go wrong and she wouldn’t have to hear that her husband would be leaving to put his life in even more danger. Kono knew that he would do anything for his country, he laid his life down for it and it’s citizens on a regular basis, but drug dealers and wanna-be gang members were very different from armed terrorists. When the call came in the early hours of the morning fear made her blood run cold and she watched as her husband answered the call, his voice slipping as she knew the news wasn’t good. 

 

“How bad is it?” Kono watched Steve, her face still pressed into the sleep warm pillow as the light from the moon shrouded them. She watched him hold the phone in his hands, his back was to her so she couldn’t see the expression on his face, however the way his shoulders sat rigid she knew it wouldn’t have been soft laughing features she knew and loved. “I gotta go.” His tone was clipped and cold, Kono’s eyes shut as she knew in a heartbeat what he was talking about. If it had been a case, he would have said they both ‘gotta go’ and his voice wouldn’t have made the fine hairs on the back of her neck stand to attention. 

 

“How long?” She asked her question quietly, sitting up in bed and reaching out for the warm skin of her husband, her hand settled on his shoulder and she leant in close against him, pressing a soft kiss to back of his neck. She was savouring every touch, taste and sound that he made. 

 

“I don’t know.” She felt him sigh, his body going slack under her hands for just a moment before he started moving, he turned his head and pressed a kiss to her hand before he rose to his feet, tugging on a pair of shorts that he had discarded only a few hours before. Kono watched as he headed for their closet, dragging out his bag and checking the contents before reaching back to the rail and taking out his uniform. He offered a soft smile before heading into their bathroom to change, any other time Kono might have protested, but this was different, this time he was leaving her for them. There was a touch of resentment, hurt in her heart that he was leaving; even though she knew he would have stayed if he could, she couldn’t escape the feeling. Kono climbed out of their bed, shouldering her robe, knotting the belt around her slender waist just as Steve came out of their small bathroom. 

 

He was a fine sight in their uniform nothing would ever change that in her mind, but she would do anything to take it off and take him back to their bed where they could spend forever, out of danger, out of sight. Steve picked up his bag and moved across them room to her, Kono already reaching blindly for his hand, he took it and set the bag at their feet with a dull thud. “You know I would stay if could?” Steve murmured , his face close to her as she felt his eyes on her. She jerked her head and pressed close, her hands slipping from his to wrap around his waist. Steve nuzzled at the side of her side until she tipped her face up to meet his, his bright blue hues searched her dark ones and she hated the conflicted look saw in in his, knowing she was the cause. 

 

“Just come home to me okay?” Kono breathed fighting back the burn of tears in her eyes. In answer Steve kissed her like it was the last time, taking her breath away and making her heart ache harder than anything. His hands framed her face and his thumbs swiped across her cheeks riding her the tears that had betrayed her. 

 

“I’ll call if I can, okay?” Steve answered after breaking the kiss his forehead pressed to hers in one last moment that was theirs. He kissed her quickly before he bent to collect his pack, turning his back and walking out their home. The dreading feeling that sat heavy in Kono’s stomach making her sick. 

 

The first time Kono heard from him was a few months after he had been deployed, the look on his face told her everything, he didn’t need to speak and explain. He would be gone for longer than they expected, apparently whatever they had gone to do was bigger than they expected and they had to clear up the mess. Everything Kono had been planning that say when they spoke flew out of her mind and the only thing that she had been able to say was ‘stay safe, I miss you’. Moments after the call had ended and Kono sat back on the couch her hands fanning over her stomach, there was nothing there to show it yet, but below her hands grew the child her and Steve had made together. Days after his deployment she had fainted while interviewing a witness at the hospital, Danny freaked and had her checked out before they left, when the results came back she was stunned beyond belief. They hadn’t been actively trying, but they hadn’t been doing anything to prevent it either, what would come would come they had said. Kono had held the first sonogram image of their child in her hands, she had planned to tell him, tell him that she was pregnant and he had to come home soon; however when he could said it could be at least another six months before he was home Kono couldn’t find the words. 

 

“I couldn’t tell him.” Kono looked up the dark haired man that walked into the living room, her cousin spending more and more time at the McGarrett household since Steve’s deployment. “I’m a horrible wife, he should know he’s going to be a father.” Kono sobbed her hands gripping tightly around the small black and white image. Chin didn’t speak he just crossed the room, seating himself beside her and drew her close holding her until she stopped with the tears. 

 

“You are not a horrible wife.” Chin answered firmly when she was done and ready to listen. “Yes Steve should know, but -” He stopped her before she could interrupt. “I understand why you did it, you know him better than anyone and you know he will worry more and no doubt act even more irrational to come home, it’s safer for him to not know - not knowing will make sure he focuses on the task at hand and comes home to you alive.” Chin’s words soothed something inside of Kono, knowing that her decision wasn’t as bad as she was making it to be in her head. Still, she would never forgive herself for not telling her husband, even if it would potentially save his life. 


	2. Chapter Two

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Since you asked so nicely ....

**CHAPTER TWO**

The months seemed to fly past and Kono’s belly grew with each passing month, she worked for as long as she could. She had given up working in the field the moment she had found out she was pregnant, which meant that they really had to give into the Governor's pushes to take on a new member for the team. Danny had taken over Five-0, Chin had taken Danny’s spot and well Kono had become the Queen of paperwork. Their new member, a Detective from Danny’s homeland New Jersey filled spot number four on their team. She was nice, she had the same quick mouth and mind as their new leader and like Danny, she had the personality which made it hard not to love her. It wasn’t long before Kono and Chin noticed something happening between their native New Jerseyan’s and Kono was quick to call them out on it, just like Danny had done to her and Steve. 

 

Before long Kono was too big to fit behind her desk, her arms literally not long enough to reach it when she had her belly pressed to the edge, Danny liked to joke she was carry a sumo wrestler. He only made the joke once. So instead she was banished to home where she would spend her days in the ocean or pottering around the house, with the help of her Ohana they had gotten the nursery ready. Kono had done most of it, only recruiting Chin and Danny for the heavy lifting, it didn’t feel right without Steve. She had heard nothing from him since that first call, he had warned her then that this might be only call before they went dark. Still had hoped she would hear something from him. 

 

Her waters had broken late into the night, she woke with the worst pain low in her belly and she was out of bed as quickly as she could looking down at the water that was slowly soaking in her mattress. She had been having tightening of her belly for most of the day, they had been steadily growing worse, but she had played it down to braxton hicks since she had been been getting them for the last couple of weeks. Still when she saw the water she couldn’t believe it was now finally happening. Kono had planned for a home birth, nothing felt more right than having her child where she felt most safe, most connected to Steve. Everyone had been on standby for weeks, especially when she had passed her due date a few days ago. So when she called Chin, she wasn’t surprised when Danny, Eve and Malia all turned up. Though Malia was a given since she was the doctor of the family. 

 

At noon that day John Steven McGarrett was born weighing a healthy six pounds and seven ounces. Kono was exhausted, but in total awe of the small being she held to her chest. With family around her Kono wish Steve had been here to see their son into the world, but he would be home soon, she kept telling herself that she tucked her face against the little body that had fallen quiet after screaming his way into the world. Kono didn’t leave the house for days, people stopped by to see the newborn and she welcomed the company, it wasn’t that she wanted to be alone. She just wanted to be at home and spend at least the week of her son’s life together and with family. It was hard to begin with, she struggled figuring out when to sleep and eat, especially since John was a terrible sleeper and screamed the night and day away. Though she wasn’t alone, Danny was literally a angel, John settled in his arms the moment he was handed over and Kono felt guilty for being happy her son stopped crying in another man’s arms. 

 

It was when John was six weeks old everything came crashing down around her, it was late in the day on a Saturday afternoon, everyone was over they were sat drinking and laughing in the garden while the smell of meat and smoke hung heavy in the air from the BBQ. The doorbell rang and Danny ran out laughing saying he would get it, but when they looked as he came back in, with two uniformed officers in tow there was no laughter. Not anymore. Kono instantly knew, she knew what they were hear to tell her. Steve was dead, he was never coming home, he was never going to meet his son, he was never going to know he was a father. That was her fault, she should have told him when she had the chance, and now she would live with guilt for the rest of her life. At some point Eve had taken John from her arms as Kono stared at the officers, not really listening as they spoken. Steve wasn’t dead, but he might as well have been, he was missing. They hadn’t heard from him in weeks and when the two remaining members of his unit had turned up without him, both of them saying he had been taken by unknown soldiers, they might as well just have declared him dead. 

 

They left shortly afterwards, Chin seeing them out. Kono stared blindly at the space they had once filled she couldn’t find anything left in her to move, to say anything as people sat around her silent. The only one to make a sound was John, no doubt feeling the tension and anguish in the air. “Kono?” It was Chin that spoke first, his hand settling in her shoulder ignoring the way Kono flinched under his touch. She turned to face him when he spoke her name again, and she saw the pain in his face, making everything hurt so much more. She pushed out of the chair, looking around everything, no one knowing what to say. Kono brushed Chin off, shaking her head when anyone spoke and headed inside, heading up the stairs to what had been hers and Steve’s bedroom, now it was just hers. She shut the door behind her, then slowly sunk to the hard wooden floors, back pressed to the door as finally it hit her and she cried until she could cry no more. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This one is a little shorter, so sorry about that! However Chapter three is EPIC;) Let me know what you think!


	3. Chapter Three

**CHAPTER THREE**

 

Kono couldn’t believe that her baby boy was going to be, no, he was four years old. Time seemed to fly and everything around her was growing and changing. In those four years Chin and Malia grew their family, first it was twins - Elikapeka and Kahua and now Malia was pregnant again, another set of twins. Chin had never liked to do things easy. Danny and Eve had gotten married, Kono had revelled in the joy she had seen on Grace’s face when she had gotten to be bridesmaid again and carry John down the aisle with her. Now Eve was carrying their own child, due at the same time as Malia. Kono wished she could have been with them, carrying a brother or sister for John with Steve at her side. Still, she wasn’t going to focus on that, not today. It was John’s birthday party and everyone was coming over, it was going to be hell of a day. 

 

Kono greeted friends and family as they came through the door, friends of John’s from kindergarten he had insisted come and their family which never failed her, even through the darkest of times. Mary had even made the trip to the islands to celebrate her Nephews birthday bringing her own little one in tow. Chin was at the BBQ and Eve and Malia was entertaining children and supervising at the water's edge. Danny had just arrived with Grace and Grace’s friend, Grace’s male friend. Kono wrapped her arms around the teen and eyed the boy over her shoulder waiting for an introduction. When it came she tried not to laugh the scowl from her father. “Be nice.” Kono chastised when they headed off, Kyle a few steps behind Grace as she went in search of the twins. 

 

“She is not meant to have a boyfriend, never, not ever.” Danny huffed, the scowl deepening on his features. Kono dropped her head to his shoulder and wrapped her arms around his waist. Comforting as best she could in this hard time. 

 

“It was gonna happen brah, you knew that.” Kono added softly. “Now, stop sulking and go find your nephew, he’s been driving me insane asking for you.” Kono laughed swatting at Danny’s behind as she released him and pushed him out onto the lani. 

 

**POV CHANGE**

 

What Steve had endured for months, years, was more than any man should have been forced to take. He kept going through, even when the days were at their worst. He had someone to go home too, his wife who he knew would be waiting. That was what he kept telling himself, he kept himself alive with memories of her. Trying to remember the taste of her skin, the sound of her voice, the smell of her hair. It took him 4 years, but he finally escaped, escaped the place he was forced to call home. A cell with chains and rats and something that smelled foul whenever you opened the door. He dragged himself through the jungle, fighting for his life whenever the need came, thinking of when he would return to his wife. His beautiful, charming, loving wife. He was found days later by more soldiers, but just when he thought it was all over they helped him and took him back to their base. After explaining who he was they contacted the US embassy, who arranged everything, before he knew what was happening he was on a flight home to Hawaii. 

 

In that time he learned that Kono had been told he was missing, and by this time no doubt she thought he was dead. What would that leave him when he returned home, would she have moved on, found someone else to love her and care for her. No that she needed someone to care for her, she was fierce and wild and could kill a man a million different ways, but Steve cared for her. He cared for each and every inch of her and he’d do anything for her, time and time again. After more days of debriefing and under constant doctor’s supervision he was released from medical care. He was malnourished and dehydrated, he also carried cuts and bruises and a break that healed wrong in his wrist, that would eventually need to be broken and reset at some point, however for now he was good to go home. 

 

Due to the nature of the situation and the specialism he chose, no one knew he was home. There was no welcome banners welcoming him home, apart from family and the no doubt the team, and of course the US Navy, no one had known he was missing. Only the need to know. Which meant his return was not announced. When Steve pushed opened the door to his house, there was confusion. Children’s toys were scattered across the room, toy boxes and pictures of more children sat on the walls. It didn’t feel like the home he had left behind nearly five years ago. He froze when he heard small footsteps on the stairs, looking to his right to see a small boy stood on them, frozen and staring at Steve. “MOMMA.” His shout made Steve jump, causing him to stumble back into the door frame, his bag falling from his hand. 

 

More footsteps came, heavier as they landed on the hard floors of what was his home. Kono, Danny, Chin came flying into the house, Kono a sight that left him breathless. She had changed over the over the years, her hair had grown longer, she seemed almost curiver, like her body had changed. Steve stared down at the guns that were pointed at him, Kono was closest, stood in front of him with no weapon in her hands. Her eyes ran across him, taking in everything. Steve wasn’t wearing his uniform. After all the weight he lost he couldn’t wear it, so he was resigned to a set of camis they had found for him. “Steve?” Her voice was hesitant at first, her eyes searching his face and when his own gaze caught her’s, he didn’t the gasp. “Oh my God.” Kono lurched forward, her arms wrapping around his neck, her body hanging from his as she held on for dear life. Steve tucked his face into her neck, breathing deeply as he arms wrapped around her waist, holding onto her like it was the first time. 

 

**POV CHANGE**

 

Kono was stunned beyond belief, she never thought she would see him again. Never thought he would be standing in the door to their home like he had just come from back a run, or anything. Kono sobbed into his neck, the overwhelming emotion that hit her like a brick breaking free and showing with force as she finally held her husband in her arms again. He was home. “Momma?” The little voice came again, fear and confusion wrapped around his words. Kono pulled away from Steve, not missing the way his hand still stayed firmly at her waist, like he wasn’t ever letting her go. 

 

“It’s okay baby.” Kono opened her arms and John ran down the remaining steps into them. That was when Steve let her go, his hand pulling from her waist like he had been burnt. Kono lifted their child into his her arms, watching Steve. The hurt and confusion she saw wanting to make her tell him everything, but she needed to sort things out, they had so many people here and everyone would want to say hello and welcome Steve back, she couldn’t hit him with the bomb with everyone here. Kono handed John off to Danny, Danny sat the boy on his hip, tickling ribs until he laughed and the whole tense situation seemed to evaporate from his young mind.  “Will you take him out back for me?” She asked quietly. “Also, maybe see if you can get rid of everyone, everyone but ohana?” Danny nodded and with Chin he turned and left Kono with Steve. 

 

Kono took a breath before turning back to Steve, he was still there, she hadn’t imagined any of it and he was very much alive and in their living room. “I can’t believe you’re here, I thought you were dead Steve.” Kono breathed her eyes skating over his body from head to toe. He didn’t look like himself, he was much thinner, his face gaunt and his eyes didn’t seem to hold the same light they one had from before he had left. She took a the few steps back to her husband, reaching out and laying her hands on his chest, feeling his beating heart below her hands. “You’re alive.” She added, not like she needed too, the disbelief was evident on her face. She reached up, her fingers scratching across his stubbled jaw, feeling the scar which was new and lay across his temple. She watched his eyes fall shut and she continued to feel her way across his face, getting to know the face still was completely and utterly in love with. 

 

“Who was that?” It took a few moments for one of them to break the silence, Steve was first and his question as one that Kono had been hoping to put of for a little bit longer. She took a break and dropped her hand from his face, slipping her hand into his before leaning down to pick up his bag. 

 

“Let’s head upstairs, get you settled back in hmm?” Kono answered in return, for now hopefully putting the question off. Steve let her pull him the steps, jerky motions as he took them, and when she looked back as they passed John’s room she saw him look into the child’s room; a dazed look replacing the confused one. Kono led Steve into their bedroom, she had made changes over the years and now with Steve back it was like the final piece of the puzzle she had been trying to put together was finished. She closed the door behind them and dropped the bag by the dresser, they had privacy up here. She knew Danny and Chin would clear out everyone who wasn’t family. 

 

“I’ll ask you again, who was that.” Clearly Steve had known what she was trying to do, she forgot how he just knew, how he just knew what was on her mind. He could read her like a book and now it felt like he was being deliberately obtuse. “Kono.” 

 

“His name is John, John Steven McGarrett.” Kono breathed, her head dropped to the ground watching his booted feet. They moved a step before stopping again and finding a stop on the ground, when she hesitantly cast her gaze back up he was watching her. “He was born March 12th 2013, at 12:34 in the afternoon.” She pressed on she would keep talking until he spoke and stopped her. “His favourite colour is blue, and I know that because Danny left a tin of paint open from when he was painting the spare room and John tipped it over and pretending he was swimming.” Kono laughed tears in her eyes, she had sent weeks scrubbing blue paint from his body, only after freaking out thinking her son was poisoned. “He wanted to be like his Daddy, because only the night before we were sat talking about how you were a SEAL and Danny joked you were more like a fish than a SEAL.” Kono breathed sucking in a breath. “Say something!” She threw her hands up, her tone pleading as she begged him with her eyes. 

 

“You didn’t tell me.” Kono slumped against the dresser, that was what he had to say. Out of everything he could have asked, she shouldn’t have been surprised, but she was. “I called and you didn’t tell me, he was born March 12th, I called you months before that, you never told me.”

 

“I was going to tell you.” Kono answered quietly, her head hanging as she looked for her words. “I planned to tell you and then you told me it was it was going be months before you were home and I didn’t want to put more pressure on you, I wanted you to focus on what you were doing, not me and John here at home.” Kono explained, she wanted her voice to sound strong, like she believed wholly in her decision not to tell Steve was pregnant. “I found out after you had been deployed, if I had known before I would have told you I promise, but you were gone and I didn’t know when you were going to come back.” 

 

“That should have been my problem to deal with, not yours.” Steve answered, he didn’t raise his voice, he spoke evenly and calmly. “I should have known Kono, I should have known I was going to be a father. I should have known and I would have fought harder, would have worked harder to come home.” This time his voice did rise and Kono wanted to reach out and hold him, but she didn’t know how welcome her touch would have been. 

 

“And that’s exactly why I didn’t tell you!” Kono hissed. “I wanted you to come home alive, alive and whole, all in one piece.” Kono added rubbing her hands across her face. “I know you, I know you would do anything to come to home to us, but I only needed you to come home alive and you knowing you had a son, someone that would depend on you and look up to you, would make you do something stupid!” 

 

“He’s still my son!” Steve shouted his hands forming tight fists by his side. “I should have known!” 

 

“Yes! You should have known, I’ve held the guilt of the decision I have made for four years, but I will you take you coming home no matter how many months or years later than watching them lower your coffin into the ground.” Kono snapped. “You were  _ missing  _ not  _ dead.  _ I have been holding onto that small crumb of difference for four years, which has been slowly growing darker and darker in my heart each day you didn’t come home and by each day passing I’ve slowly come to believe that you were dead and I would drown under the weight of the guilt of not telling you had a son to come home too.” Kono’s blood pounded in her ears, her heart thudding in her chest. “But I will not  _ regret  _ not telling you.” 

 

“God dammit.” Steve groaned dragging his hands through his hair. “You are the most infuriating woman I have ever met, I don’t know how to look past you not telling me our son existed, but I have to try because you have been the only thing that has kept me alive from the day I was deployed.” Steve spoke his head shaking as he looked across his wife. “I worshipped the ground you walked on and I still do, I can’t help myself, but I’m so angry with you for not telling me.” Kono nodded she wouldn’t have expected any less, but she could deal with him being angry, she could work with that. He was home and alive that was all that mattered. 

 

“Do you want to meet him?” Kono asked rubbing her hands down her the sides of her shorts. “I’m sure Danny and Chin have gotten rid of everyone by now, so it will only be family down there and I’m sure they’d love to say hello as well.” She felt like she was talking to much again, this was a day she had been hoping for, for years. John finally meeting his father and Steve finally meeting his son. Kono watched a range of emotions play across Steve’s face, she even thought she saw fear there for a moment before his mask fell into place. 

 

“Yeah, of course.” Steve nodded, like it was a stupid question to ask. Kono nodded and all of a sudden the air felt awkward and she was unsure of herself around him. “Give me a minute, I wanna change.” Steve added after a breath, heading for the closet. The only problem was, Kono had boxed up all his things, apart from the odd thing here and then a majority of Steve’s things, like his clothes were in boxes. She hadn’t wanted to get rid of them, but having them constantly there was stopping her from being able to live her life and be the best for John. 

 

“Your things, they’re not there.” Kono spoke quickly, reaching for Steve to stop him from opening the closet doors. “Your things, they’re in boxes, it hurt seeming them there all the time, they’re in boxes.” She explained softly, repeating herself. “I kept a few things out though,” Kono pressed on, moving to the dresser and pulling out a pair of Steve’s old sweats and a couple of tops she had taken to wearing on the odd occasion, they were looking a little worn now but they would do. “I’ll leave you...” She trailed off setting the clothes on the bed, it didn’t feel right being the in the same room with him while he changed. What had once been something she greatly enjoyed watching, now it felt like watching a stranger.

 

“Great, thanks.” He answered absently looking to the items to she had set down. Kono felt even worse, he had come home expecting everything to be as he left it and everything had changed, she had changed. She had started to move on with her life and while there would have always been a Steve McGarrett shaped hole in her heart, she would have gotten on with her life and raised John herself and with the team, because they were her family. Kono stepped out the room, shutting the door behind her and for a minute she stood there breathing deeply and trying to get her thoughts in order before she faced them downstairs. 

 

Kono left Steve to change, she made her way slowly down the steps and saw Eve showing the last of the guest out, apologizing for the family emergency that had come up. Kono saw the look in her eyes when she turned to face her, happiness and sorrow, clearly the boys had told her about the tense reunion. “Hey sweetie, how you doing?” She asked quietly taking Kono’s hand in her own and giving it a squeeze. 

 

“Oh you know, reeling over the fact my missing, presumably dead husband in back in my life and hates me for not telling him he has a son.” Kono shrugged like it was no big deal, but apart from finding out she was pregnant, it was one of the biggest deals of her life. “So yeah, all good.” She watched Eve roll her eyes and allowed the woman to bring her down the hall to where everyone sat on the beach. They looked up when they saw her, John across the sand and wrapping his little arms around her waist. Kono held onto him tight, he had always been her anchor to reality, made sure she kept coming home. 

 

“Where’s Steve?” It was Mary spoke, looking up at Kono from where she sat in the sand with Joan. She saw the hope and love and joy in her eyes at the thought of having her big brother back. While she always had Kono, John and Joan there for her. Steve was her only real family left and knowing she wasn’t alone was a massive deal for her. 

 

“He’s just getting changed, he should be down in a minute.” Kono smiled lifting John up into her arms. Pressing kiss after kiss to little face until his sweet giggle rang in her ears. “You know I love you Ko`u Aloha?” Kono breathed, brushing back his dark curls from his face. ‘I know mummy’ was his words, clasping her face in his little hands and pressing a sloppy kiss to her mouth. Everyone was talking around them, but it quickly fell silent when Steve appeared in the door, wearing the sweats and shirt Kono had laid out for him. Kono stood to the side with John as Mary went to Steve first, Joan in her arms meeting her Uncle for the first time.Tears came to her eyes as she watched, John noticing and whispering questions to why she was crying, Kono only nuzzling into his neck ignoring the fact he was getting much too big to be held in her arms for this long. 

 

Danny and Eve were next, the reunion like nothing she could have imagine of insults and love and Steve’s ribbing on Danny finally finding someone who was willing to put up with his mouth. She could see the joy on Steve’s face, she knew how much he loved Danny, Danny being the brother he had never had; and the seeing the way he welcomed Eve made everything so overwhelming. If it wasn’t for the fact she had John in her arms, she couldn’t have done this, couldn’t have stood here and watched him greet everyone with a smile and warmth and love. She deserved it though, she had only brought this on herself. 

 

Once he had chatted with Chin and Malia, met their two bundles of trouble that grinned at Steve and ran back down to where they were playing, it was John’s turn to meet his father. Kono lowered him from her hip, a numb feeling had set in from where she had been holding him for so long. She gripped his hand and slowly led him across the lani to Steve. She stopped a few steps in from of him and crouched beside John, so she could speak him. “John baby, this is Steve.” Kono spoke softly, looking up at her husband from under dark lashes. “And do you know who Steve is?” She asked quietly, they had all spoken of Steve over the years, never letting John know that there wasn’t someone who loved him very very much out there. A man he could call his Daddy even if he wasn’t here present. John shook his head, his little hand holding Kono’s tighter. “Well he’s your Daddy, you remember what we told you? The stories?” She asked rubbing her hand over the back of his. “Remember the funny ones Uncle Danny told you?” She asked again, watching as John turned to look at Danny who nodded in encouragement. 

 

Kono watched as Steve crouched in front of them, a soft expression on his face as he looked at her and then their son. He spoke softly, his reassuring and gentle, Kono could feel herself being dragged up into his spell and when she looked to John she could see that he too was wide eyed finally at ease with Steve. “You don’t have to call me Daddy if you don’t want too, you can call me Steve if you want?” Kono finally tuned back into what Steve was saying and her heart broke at his words, of course John would call him Daddy, but she knew what he was trying to do. He was putting John at ease and she could feel it under her hands as her little boy relaxed against her. She felt John nod and Kono smiled a little, it was the first step. However when she looked back to Steve the look she received from him wasn’t the warm and kind hearted one he had given everyone else. 

 

They all rose back to their feet and Steve ran his fingers through John’s curls as he passed heading for Danny and Chin who were talking at the BBQ. John ran off heading down the beach to play with the Twins and Malia and Eve didn’t miss the look on Kono’s face when she headed back inside. Kono heard the blonde following her and as she stepped into the kitchen and as soon as she was out of sight from Steve outside Kono turned and met Eve’s open arms holding onto her tight as she sobbed into the woman’s arms. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So?! What we think? Let me know!


	4. Chapter Four

**CHAPTER FOUR**

 

Kono had been back at work for a while now, her hours varied and with Eve they each took a day off in the week to cover the two days John wasn’t at Kindergarten, Kono having the Monday and Eve the Thursday. Kono loved it because it meant she still got to spend time with her baby boy and it worked well for Eve, even more as she got further into her pregnancy.  Kono had watched Steve come back like he had never been gone, it took a week but he was back running Five-0 like he hadn’t been missing for the last five years. He was living at Danny’s, using his spare room instead of being at the house with Kono and John, whenever she looked at him she saw the look in his eyes was one that made her want to reverse time. 

 

Kono had done a week before she took two weeks leave, the tension whenever both of them stepped into the room unbearable and it left everyone around them walking on eggshells. She knew Danny and Chin made sure they were never alone together and they were never given the chance to be sent out together when a case came up. It wasn’t fair to them and the guilt grew worse the more she knew how much they trying to keep them apart. It shouldn’t have been like this, they should have been happy and now living their life now he was home; but it was the opposite and Kono felt like she was drowning again. 

 

She spent the two weeks at home with John and when John was at kindergarten or with the one of the guys she would take a few moments to herself surfing or reading, or just anything which took her mind off her not so dead husband. Steve had asked through Danny if he could spend time with John, Kono hadn’t been able to deny him and so Danny collected John and would take him to meet his father were they would some time together. She wished she could have been there to see it, the look on John’s face as he finally spent time with Steve. Or the look on Steve’s because she knew how much he had wanted a child before he deployed and now he finally had that. John would come home with tales of swimming and football, shave ice and lunch at Kamekona’s. She felt a touch of jealousy when he came home with these stories, because she wanted to be there, she wanted to be involved, she wanted to be laughing along side John and Steve as they enjoyed their time together. She knew she couldn’t though, this was her punishment, to sit on the sidelines and watch her husband build his relationship with the son he never knew he had because of her. She would accept this punishment, but as she kept telling herself, she didn’t regret not telling him. 

 

The atmosphere hadn’t changed when she returned to work, things were still tense and she knew something had to be done about it. Kono was sat with Chin when they watched Steve come in that morning, Danny not far behind. Kono sighed and Chin frowned. “You need to talk to him cuz.” He spoke quietly, that even and calm that always drove her up the wall. The all knowing Chin Ho Kelly. 

 

“He doesn’t want to talk to me.” Kono answered watching the brunette through the glass as he laughed with Danny who was talking animatedly, clearly a story that was important for so much enthusiasm. “He just goes silent and get’s that look on his face which makes me feel like the smallest and most horrendous person in the world.” Kono sighed turning back from the glass and sinking lower into her seat. 

 

“You did what you thought was right at the time, you can’t know whether telling him or not would have made a difference to him coming home or not, however you made the decision you thought was right and it might have taken over four years - but he’s come home.” Kono scratched at her head, couldn’t her cousin just spit it out? “You need to speak to him, you need to get the air cleared between you, if not for us, for John. Because you need to figure out if you’re going to try and make this work between you or not and if not John deserves to know now.” Of course he did. John deserved the world and if she could have given it to him she would have; but Chin was right if her and Steve were not going to work this out then they would have do something soon and get their own lives on track and if needed work out the divorce. 

 

“You’re right, as always.” Kono sighed gripping the bars of her chair harshly as she pushed to her feet, this was a better time than any to start something. “Wish me luck.” She muttered sarcastically striding out of Chin’s office and heading for Steve’s where she had just watched him settle into his seat. She pushed open the door and then watched the humour and light fade from his eyes when he looked up and realized it was her.

 

“What do you want Kono, we have no case at the minute.” He tone was cool and she flinched the harsh tone of voice. No they had no case, but she should have been able to speak to him regardless if they had a case or not. 

 

“We need to sort this out, because it not fair to anyone around us who has to put up with the tension that is here.” Kono figured there was no point in beating around the bush, he clearly wanted her gone, so she might as well spit it out. “Neither of us are going to give up being apart of this team, we means we need to have each other’s back and right now, I can’t be sure you do.” Kono snapped folding her arms firmly across her chest. 

 

“You can’t be serious?” Steve exclaimed leaning back in his chair. “Do you really think that low of me? Do you really think I would let anything happen you regardless of what is happening in our  _ private  _ lives?” Steve’s comment was fair and it made Kono feel worse, because she did know that regardless of what was happening in their lives he would always have her back. She was pushing him, she knew she was pushing him to get a reaction, get some kind of emotion from him to earn herself that, because he had given her nothing over the last couple of days and she hated that. 

 

Kono watched as Steve pushed up of his seat, his chair slamming back into the unit behind his desk, the items on the shelves rattling as she rose. “No I don’t.” She sighed. “I want to sort this, I want to put this right between us and make it right again.” Kono huffed dropping her ass into the chair opposite his desk, leaning forward with her elbows on her knees, her head in her hands. “I know I screwed up not telling you, I know you must hate me for not telling you you’re a father and I sit with that guilt everyday, but it’s not fair for them out there to be treading on eggshells and John as well, if - if we’re not going to be together.” Kono breathed the last sentence, because maybe if he didn’t hear it he wouldn’t agree with her and say that would be the best option. 

 

“I don’t hate you Kono.” Steve’s resigned tone had her looking up as he perched himself on the corner of his desk, his knee bumping against Kono’s forearm. “I just, it’s had to look past the fact you kept something so big from me -” He raised his hand to stop her interruption. “I know you were doing what you thought best, and I can’t imagine how hard it’s been these last four years raising our son alone.” 

 

“But even if you knew you would have still missed the last fours, you still wouldn’t have been in his life and he wouldn’t have known you. How would it have been fair of me to tell you that I was pregnant, in the small window we spoke no more than a few weeks after I had found out myself?” It wasn’t a whisper, but her voice was quiet as she looked up at Steve. “Why add that extra weight to your mind when you’re out there trying to fight for your life? I know you worry, I know you think of me and the team when you should be focusing what’s happening around you, if I told you and because of that something happened - I would never forgive myself.” Kono explained, it was hard putting what she felt into words and even now she wasn’t sure she quite got across how she had really felt that day. 

 

“But I would have still known and I would have still be able to hold onto that information. You don’t understand what it would have meant to me to know that I had a son to come home too, what it would have done while I was held in a cell twenty four hours a day, seven days a week, I’m good at what I do Kono, I would be dead by now if I wasn’t.” Steve answered, his tone now more amused than anything. “I want to try and make us work, it’s going to take time, but I still love you, I think I will always love you, you just gotta give me time baby.” Kono’s heart flipped and rolled at name he used for her. Hearing it fall from his lips again meant everything to her and it gave her hope, hope that they would eventually sort things out. 

 

“I’m sorry, if I could change it I would, I would.” She repeated, realizing now that actually yes, she did regret not telling Steve and the guilt was as bad as it wa because she regretted not telling him she was pregnant when they spoke. She had been in denial with herself for so long that admitting to herself she had been wrong about her choices would have made her worse, would have sent her into a spiral she wasn’t sure she could ever come back up form. “I was wrong, I’m so sorry.” Her voice broke and tears betrayed her, sliding down her cheeks as she looked up Steve who moved quickly as she blinked. 

 

He was crouched in front of her, one hand on her knee and one hand cradling her cheek, his thumb swiping the tears away. “I know.” His words were soft and his tone made Kono cry harder, he should have been harsh, he should have shouting at her telling her she was wrong, telling her she finally seeing sense. His anger she could deal with, she could work with it; but his acceptance made her hurt more, made each breath she took hurt. He pulled her close, Kono tucking her face into to the crook of his neck, she breathed deeply, the scent which was completely him evening her breathly. Her arms around his shoulders, willing for it to never be over. His arms folded around her waist, his hands rubbing soothly up and down her back as she slowly stopped crying. Even though she had stopped they stayed like they were, holding onto each other and just breathing. Kono didn’t want to release him in fear everything would go back to how it was. 

 

“We gotta a -” The door burst open and Danny pushed in obviously not seeing Kono and Steve finally doing something to sort out their relationship. “Shit. Sorry - I’ll -” Steve cut him off, Kono felt him pulling away so she released him and sat back in the chair turning her face away from Danny so she could wiped the damp streaks from her face and put on a semblance of composure. 

 

“It’s fine, we’re coming.” Steve answered for her, she heard the door close and when she looked to Steve who was stood beside her, there was a small smile gracing his features and his hand was extended to her. She took it like the olive branch she believed it was.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Since you asked so nicely and I made you wait so long for it, here we go! I hoped you enjoyed and if you're lucky you may have the last Chapter tonight as well!
> 
> Comments always welcome!

**Author's Note:**

> A/N: Thank you so much for reading?! I hope you enjoyed this? It's one of my favourite McKono Fic's and after some major editing I'm really happy to be sharing it again. I have a lot of Hawaii Five-0 works on my computer that were posted a very long time ago when I first started writing fanfiction. A lot of it does require heavy editing purely because back then, my writing was BAD. 
> 
> Let me know what you though (constructive comments only please, nothing abusive)t?! Always open for prompts as well <3


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